Kelcie Beene- The Story I’m Sticking To

Tuesday, July 5

So one time, I met this guy who just moved to New York. He was very cute—kind of looks like Jerry O’Connell in his baby face days—and scored a rent-controlled apartment. Only problem was that the building was slated for demolition if the landlord could kick everyone out. On principal (and probably because he didn’t have anywhere else to live) he refused to move out. Which was kind of a silly choice only in the fact that the apartment was dis-gust-ing. It was worse than anything you’ve seen on “Hoarders” (and I’m obsessed with that show). So anyway, he stays in this apartment, then he tells me he got a new roommate…more like 20-30 thousand new roommates. Roaches (obviously)… and they talk. And sing.

So of course I realized he was crazy and had to never speak to him again. NO…wait a minute. That WAS Jerry O’Connell in his baby face days. And that is the plot of the movie “Joe’s Apartment.” (MTV’s first film…how far they’ve come…)

Truth is, I don’t really have a good roach motel story. Growing up, my family would drive from Alabama to California every summer to visit relatives. So needless to say I’ve seen a lot of hotels. Not to mention working for reality TV for two and a half years, traveling to “Small Town USA” for shoots. And there was the summer that my boyfriend (who I met through the Amoralists…thanks again guys) took me to Spain. But even the hostels I’ve been to were pretty nice places. Actually, I’ve been quite spoiled when it comes to travel. I wish I had a roach motel story. I do have mice stories. And maybe a ghost story or two.

Anyway. Here’s a video of roaches singing and dancing.

Enjoy your lunch.